“Don’t tell me what they said about me, tell me why they were so comfortable to say that around you.”
I blinked back a tear and pondered for hours & hours either to give it all up and pull the trigger or to fake a laugh and move on.
I faced, faced a lot. Experienced, experienced a lot and.. Felt, felt a lot.
I was always the strong courageous one, there was always that furious tiger inside of me, finding a way to get out and show the world the real me.
Yet, I somehow became the quiet and weak victim of it all. It all backfired spontaneously.
I act different around certain people. It is not because I am fake it’s because I have a different comfort zone around certain people.
I tried and failed after all how could I trick myself into not thinking about the time when I screamed in pain and you all passed by as if you all heard nothing.
It’s funny, when I look back into my past and find myself trembling with fear with my face buried in my hands and my tears escaping my eyes. Saw what I never wanted to and experienced what I never had to.
I am not scared of you going out and about telling people how I made you feel, I am scared for the moment when they will come to know about what you did to me.
Shattering my heart into pieces and scattering them as if it was some stuff that could only be mentioned as disgust, wasn’t that enough? Apparently, it wasn’t. For you.
Came into my life as a friend and now after humiliating me publicly, you all abandoned my weeping soul with such ease. Faking a laugh as I forced my uncomfortable self to be comfortable with you, wailing endlessly in a silent room; even the walls mourned with me.
I was a prisoner then. My once peaceful soul was trapped in my alive yet dead body. My brainwashed thoughts and my pointless existence. It was a pure example of injustice and torture.
And indubitably it is, it was and it’ll always be “Unforgettable and Unforgivable.”
“I went looking for my dreams outside of myself and discovered, it’s not what the world holds for you, it’s what you bring to it.”
― L.M. Montgomery
Lucy Maud Montgomery (November 30, 1874 – April 24, 1942) was a Canadian author best known for a series of novels under the title of Anne of Green Gables. Anne of the Island is the third book of this enchanting series. The main character in this book, the orphan Anne Shirley, made Montgomery famous.
The book begins with the main character Anne Shirley and her best childhood friend Diana Barry picking apples in the Green Gables Orchard. This book carries along a very positive and relaxing vibe. The author creates a sketch of the atmosphere and the scenes in such an exquisite manner that it leaves the reader astounded and lost in the beauty of that location. The everlasting effect of those lush green fields and sparkling waters of gushing rivers was refreshing. The breezy flow of this novel is a perfect match with the plot of such beautiful relationships tinged with some hurdles that makes the reader crave for the next chapter. Every aspect of this novel moves along with a very wonderful and calming energy. Each character in this book has a quality which the other is lacking and this contrast of liveliness and friendliness concludes a glorious engaging chapter.
A new journey begins as Anne Shirley waves a tearful goodbye to her childhood home Green Gables, leaving her possessions behind and putting her precious memories aside. Walking past the past and towards the future, new surprises, memories and majestic moments lie in her future as she prepares her herself to go to Kingsport to join Redmond College.
Anne visits her homeland and often exchanges hilarious letters. Discovering a whole new world and cherishing the moments became her main objective. This trip changes her and she was once again living. Anne’s relationships grew stronger, but some relationships became so weak that letting those relationships go didn’t even matter. Taking serious life decisions, to acting without thinking- overall her experience in living away from her humble home was bitter-sweet.
Adjusting in Redmond College was quintessential now. Her good luck was that she met Philippa Gordon, a beautiful, yet blunt girl who was also a student. Settling in Kingsport was amazing yet hectic. Anne woke up every day to a land of shimmering streams and peaceful valleys, that could go from a stormy evening to a dry sunny afternoon. Anne found a new definition of Beauty in nature, which the author describes so carefully and perfectly that you can see it in your mind. On the other hand it was quite stressful, for example, not being able to open up the umbrella due winds; this can be quite exasperating in reality! Plus, Anne feels lost in a new place. Eventually, this brave yet sensitive character overcomes all these problems by finding a nice warm and cozy place, forgetting about the drastic conditions she’d lived in. There were some incidents and fights in this book that would make the reader think about what would they do if they were stuck under such restrictions.
Overall, this is an outstanding book especially for nature lovers and nature observers. The main reason why I like this book is because it satisfied my quest for a book that completely absorbed each and every detail present in nature and spread it in words in a breathtaking way. But nature wasn’t the only thing I was looking for, I was looking for a story, climax merged with liveliness present in our surroundings. So, for me this book was magic. Sitting idle in my school library just before this spell-binding, fascinating novel grabbed my attention and now I can’t take my hands off of it. I recommend reading the whole series, at least this part. Why not just read something that is worth the rating of 4.2/5?
“…One can’t stay sad very long in such an interesting world, can one?”
“Have you ever thought of making this world a better place?”
Just a thought..
“Yes?” Well, you certainly might have. But how can you transform your thought into a reform.
Ever thought about that? Certainly, that is more difficult to think about.
It’s like changing a speck of ordinary dust into sparkling star dust.
But what if you assume that ordinary speck of dust as valuable as the sparkling star dust. Isn’t it easier to point out pretty things from a pretty thing, much easier than to point out pretty things from an ugly thing. In this world there is no such thing as ugly, it’s just our perspective and yes no doubt sometimes our perspective about certain things is absolutely on point but no doubt sometimes our perspectives are totally wrong.
We live in a world where we value the appearance. Not the ideas, not the intelligence, not the creativity; nothing. Just how you look. Appearance is indeed important but judging somebody’s intelligence and skills on how they appear might not be the wisest decision.
Todays world might be a victim of indecency and negativity but we can only move forward and make a difference if we start spreading the right message. Yes, we are divided but we all believe in something common that is humanity which the world is lacking in. Just to set things straight the word “world” is a reflection of who we are. We cannot just curse ourselves or the people around us for the damage that has been caused. What’s done is done. No crying over spilt milk and nor do we have control over the future events, So why not make the present worth living.
Just be positive and find positivity and make peace even in the smallest of things. The smallest of gestures make the greatest impact. Participate in things you have the power over maybe just because of a simple compliment from you to someone could fill that person’s mind with positivity and heart with love. It could change somebody’s thinking, it could change somebody’s perspective of a better world. There is hope only if go search for it.
So, start from today. Start from yourself and go make a difference. Spread positivity. Spread positivity today for a positive tomorrow.
That moment of helplessness and confusion when you know you hate everything about someone but you still choose to love them unconditionally. You know you can’t be with them because of all the facts and damage that has been caused but those little things that can’t stop you from thinking about them.
Doubt, hesitation and all those upsetting chaos you are going through inside your head. It’s like a paradox. You hate everything about them yet you love every bit of them. Muddled and fed up of all this confusion yet loving this indecisive situation. You don’t understand which way to pick and which way to go because of those two components hatred and love fighting against each other.
Standing in the middle of the road and you don’t know whether to pick the rough but short way or beautiful but long way. You feel lonely and hopeless. Don’t know how to make a move. You hate absolutely everything and watching them, hurts; hurts a lot. Reminiscing all those fights and storms you’ve gone through just because of them. You are lost. But still how can you forget those sweet special conversations that actually made your entire day bright and fun-filled. How can you forget those advices and mistakes you’ve made and they were there to tell you it’s alright yet they turned their back & so did you. When they said goodbye you said too.
Ending everything there. Leaving all your memories and possessions in the past. Yet, you want to start a relationship again. You are afraid of being hurt again, you are avoiding being hurt again. Losing everything again. Still, you are fooling yourself that nothing ever happened and that ignoring all the negativity and absorbing all the pain, you can survive. You are waiting for something. That indecisive vibe is not leaving you. You are standing in the way between; confused to move on and choose a path to tread on for the rest of your life.
Regrets; regretting everything that why did you let them be a part of your life because now you can’t change the past. Past stays in the past. Hatred and ego making you ignore every positive image. You let it grow within you. Love and peace want to be seen too but you’re afraid to feel the happiness again or as you say you’re afraid to feel being lost again. Questioning won’t take you anywhere yet you won’t stop questioning yourself that’s why can’t you choose “Either to live life hating or loving them” or “Trying to forget and move one”.
It’s a nuisance having to suffer this exquisite pain.
Starting from the horrific hallucinations till the dazzling daydreams.
It all began with finding an ancient dry map which was later termed as my idea of success, I saw it transform into a modern useful design.I ambled on the alley engulfed by the trees as I negotiated my fears and changed my weaknesses into my greatest strengths.
I was walking on the path I was always told to, I walked past the past.
I did not stop yet I kept looking backwards to make sure that there was no body there to help me conquer. I achieved it all alone. That lucid thought and vivid glimpse, I felt invisible and my dreams were jinxed.
I climbed up the high mountains that appeared when the finish line was just around the corner and disappeared when I rose up again. They were all out there telling me I would never be able to make it to the top. But today, I am standing on the peak not afraid of falling and climbing back to my feet. Those shivers and that hint of disapproval and hesitation in my voice which once existed were vanished and mixed with the adventurous yet relieving presence of the wilderness.
Now, I am standing tall even the tremendous storms can’t bring me down. I am and I was always prepared for a pitiless destructive storm. I see another beautiful yet precipitous mountain in the distance; I take a deep breath as I give my next hub a sinister grin; unintentionally. My journey consisted of me contemplating the changes.
~we are, who we are but who are we? ~
We all are humans right? But are we really? Just for a moment stop thinking about yourself and look outside, the world that you would never wish to see or you never got a chance to explore. Today’s world cannot be described as peaceful or even beautiful. Beauty is in peace, it’s in togetherness, in trust or beauty is there where there is love. And can the world of today, be represented as a peaceful place where everybody is united, there are no divisions and most importantly do people really care for those in their life that they always claim to be very concerned about or do we truly love the people that we are surrounded by or if not humans, then are we even doing justice to those creations of Allah Almighty which are unable to speak for themselves i.e.: animals and plants. Peeling of the skin of animals while they are still blinking their eyes or moving the axe backward and forward without even noticing how many trees are now lying on the floor which were once dancing along with the warm breeze and those trees which once stood tall in the warmth of sun. A positive point of view requires a positive mind and in a place where each and every person has faced cruelty and neglect at least once in their life time, a place where instead of a heart full of love and purity there is a room full of indecency and meanness. Divisions, restrictions and partitions all of this fuss and confusion has created a new level of ill-will towards each other. Don’t you ever think about the real meaning of life? Obviously, not the one that is a part of every Facebook post e.g.: Life is an ice-cream enjoy it before it melts. Search for the real meaning and don’t go after somebody else when discovering this unexplainable thing which your life is based on. Your life is completely depended on you, nobody else in this world has power over your life or your destination. You design your map and it depends all on you of how you design your map and how do you follow those directions. The real meaning is hidden in those little things that you do for yourself, the things in which you find pleasure in. The subjects on which your aim is based on.
I cannot give meaning to anybody’s life nor can anybody else. You give strength and make your life enthusiastic by your own efforts. Everything is temporary; people, relationships, money and your life. It would be a very meaningless lifeless life to be lived but not actually lived. What I am trying to say is that every day is a new chance and this life you have is very short, it would be quite boring if you end up dead without even stepping out of the box, without even peeking outside to see the world which we tend to miss out so much and It would be very disappointing that you were granted a precious time period i.e.: your life and you came out without even recognizing why do you entered it at the first place. What was the task that was assigned to you? You cannot just submit an assignment without even knowing the topic of what it is based on. Life is not what it appears to be, it is a riddle and each one of us have been given the same riddle yet each one of us have a different answer. The actual task is to identify the answer if it was wrong or right; realistically, it is to identify the path you are treading on the right one or maybe you should make a turn.
Your life is not just based on getting good grades, achieving your goals and aiming for new ones. Your life is based on your idea on true happiness, your life is based on things that matter to you and your loved ones. You will find the meaning when the inner you, the real you is fluttering and smiling and is satisfied with the task you are performing.
But the real question that arises in one’s mind is how to add to the meaning of one’s life? How to utilize it properly? Utilize this time by making this world a better place or more over making the most out of each and every minute and changing yourself for good. Sorry, I can’t change myself kind of behavior does not work quite well in these situations. Be a role model and you will feel like you are so close to your destination. Always, enjoy and cherish the journey rather than the destination; appreciate the little things in life…Life is unpredictable and let it be that way. It is what makes it so fascinating. Always be thankful that there are things that you can wish for. In my opinion, a life without wild dreams and wishes is a life wasted. Meaningful life and wise decisions are two things that make everything perfect. Your actions, your words and your reactions are what matter, you design your reputation out of them and maintaining a reputation of being a good human is the real common meaning of our lives.
~Tears and sorrows are the things you borrow whereas happiness and smiles are the things you give and always wish to see tomorrow.~
Life might not be as easy as it looks nor can words do the justice of how complicated or beautiful is. Life is a paradox of feelings, aims, emotions and everything. Just for a moment excuse yourself from Instagram or Facebook where you are busy looking and assuming how perfect people’s lives are. Go and find inspiration. Go get some sleep with your eyes wide open. You have let go of everything and calm down. Go and stand in the rain with your eyes closed and be a pluviophile and live in those moments and filter every sorrowful memory in creativity, just try at least once to enjoy your favorite weather and not updating and posting a picture to your social media websites. There is nothing wrong about sharing a picture of a Unicorn Frappuccino from Starbucks or posting a video of a family vacation, it actually shows that you are very expressive and you do not hesitate in sharing your happiness with others. But sometimes you have to let yourself know that you are excited to enter that Five Star Hotel because it was a dream of yours and not because you want to check in and update your status on Facebook. We have to live in the moment to find our real cause of happiness and our happiness is a path to our destination and that path and that destination is life. The true meaning of life.
I would like to conclude my blog by just a simple message that there is nothing in the materialistic things of today but still you should know the worth of the things. Same is with life it is temporary but still you have to acknowledge the value of it before it vanishes plus be good to everybody, enjoy this life and do good deeds to beautify your after-life.
~Stop, Admire and Learn. Don’t just Stop, Stare and Earn~